Journal Entries
by Beaner-Bop
Summary: Journal entries from Gohan, all ranging at certain and different points in his life. Some are happy, some are sad, etc. One Shots
1. After Cell

Journal Entries

Beaner-Bop

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A/N: ^.^ one-shots make me happy!!!

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Disclaimer- No sue, me no own

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After Cell

Five days since I woke up after being in a coma for about a month, and still in bed. I can't believe they won't let me out. I need to get out. I need to stretch, I need to fly, and I need to find da-

I shouldn't be writing this in pen. But then again it makes the perfect irony doesn't it? I killed my father and no matter what I can't bring him back - just like I can't erase that stupid mistake.

That stupid, stupid, dumb, idiotic mistake.

I'm a failure.

Why am I still here?

This is probably why none of the 'gang' will let me leave the bed. Their all to worried that precious little Gohan might decide to 'hurt' himself.

Well, why not? Dad decided to go and die and stay dead. Why can't I decide to die and then _die_.

Do you know that one of the strangest things to understand - and possibly one of the hardest - is death? When I was younger, I used to think that when you died, you went to live your dreams, and your nightmares. That you just went into that world, and then when you dreamed of THIS world, you would die and come back to it, making it go back and forth.

I don't know if I let go of that belief yet. Even though dad told me about the other world, I still don't think that's how it works. I think that that was _dad's_ dream, in a way. He could still fight, train, and plenty of opponents, and if we ever needed his help, he'd still be there for us.

Krillin and Yamcha said they went to the same place as dad. Naturally Vegeta didn't but that's a different topic all together. I do _not_ want to think about hell.

Anyway, back to Krillin and Yamcha. I think that they followed my dad for so long, that when it came to fighting they went to him first, that _his_ dream, became _their_ dream as well - making everything the same.

That worries me. I don't think I have the same dreams as my father.

This is going to sound terrible - hell its going to _look_ terrible, but I have to get it off my chest. Maybe my thoughts will leave me alone after that. Maybe I won't have to look at them anymore.

I think I'm angry at my father - furious actually. I'm actually that I …I hate my father.

I can't believe I just wrote that, I don't believe that! I don't hate my father…do I?

No…no I don't. Severely angry at him though, yes. I can't help it though, trust me, I've tried. Dad did it for the world. I _know_ he did it for the world… I think maybe I'm just more selfish than he is.

Easily believable.

It's just that, the way I see it, how much he did for the world, he deserved to be a little selfish, right? So then why didn't he want to stay home?

Maybe that's it. Maybe dad _was_ being selfish. Maybe the other world was so much better than this world that-

I can't write anymore. I probably shouldn't be writing these things in the first place. Gah, I can't imagine what would happen if somebody would find this…

Mom would go into shock…

Bulma would approach me and probably try to 'put my head back on straight' since I wrote that stuff about my father.

Yamcha and Krillin would…actually, I don't know what the hell they would do. Yamcha might shake his head sadly and cross his fingers, hoping that maybe it was just the fight and it'll wear off over time. Krillin would probably give me some more attention or something like that.

I don't know what to think of if Vegeta would find it. It was laughable really. Actually- if anyone had to find it, it would probably him. After all, what time did _he_ have to read a boy's 'journal' (more specifically all those crumpled up pieces of paper that I happen to scrawl on all the time and oddly enough find time to staple them together)

He could probably care less.

You know what I said about my mother before? Scratch that. I think that she would just look at the paper sadly and shake her head. She'd probably come and see if I wanted to talk about anything with her, but not really forcing me to say anything. She's been like that a lot lately.

Actually, now that I think about it, mom's been like that her whole life. How could I never notice that about her. I've known for my whole life, hell, she _gave_ me life. How could I never notice it? How come dad never noticed it?

Maybe dad did notice. I don't know. Its not my business what their love life is like. I only came from it.

I sometimes really can't understand how selfish I am. I mean it - here I've been, complaining about how my life has been hell from Cell, when mom probably feels worse than I do.

I'm gonna have to fake like I'm asleep a little while longer, I hear Bulma coming down the hall. Probably going to say something about how staying in bed is good for your health. I don't understand why they won't let me go outside already. Its sickening. I don't want to see anyone.

Good Night.

-Gohan


	2. With Freiza

Journal Entries

Beaner-Bop

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A/N: I usually write these because I get ideas of what Gohan is thinking - but can't write it into a story. I'm only recently putting these out.

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Disclaimer: I don't own.

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With Freeza

I'm alone again. Do you know how much I hate being alone? No, how could you? You're paper…

I'm four - five years old and my name is Son Gohan. I want my daddy… I'm in a cave, all alone, because nobody is with me.

I'm scared. I get really scared when I'm alone. I shouldn't be scared - dad wouldn't get scared, like me. He doesn't get scared of the dark or things like that. Nothing scares daddy. Why can't I be like daddy?

I bet daddy would at least remember how old he was. I'm so stupid. I forgot that my birthday was four days ago.

Stupid, stupid, stupid…

What's going on now? I'm all alone - I'm so scared. My hand is sore from writing on you but If I don't write I'll be even more scared than before.

If that's even possible.

Why do I have to be so scared? Nobody's with me…Bulma isn't here…Krillin isn't here. Why do I have to be alone?

Mommy said once 'You have a good mind Gohan - but it doesn't mean anything unless you have a goo heart.' Why did she say that?

I was late coming to one of my study sessions with mommy and she asked me why. I just shrugged and ignored the question. This was new for me. She got angry and demanded that I tell her why I was late. I still ignored the question. Oddly enough mom didn't bring out the frying pan like I was expecting, she just looked at me oddly and we began to study.

When we were done she asked me again why I was late and this time I caved. I told her just what I was doing. I was helping Mr. And Mrs. Bird with their eggs. The nest fell a little while earlier and I caught the eggs, and was holding them until the two of them could fix their nest. Half way through fixing it, mommy called, saying it was time to start studying. The birds kept on working, ignoring the sound as they couldn't understand it anyway.

When they were done and had all the eggs in their nest I left and went home. When I was done mom looked at me carefully to see if I was laying but then shook her head sadly, saying those words.

She tucked me into bed and said good night and that was it. No getting in trouble or anything.

I wonder why…

I'm so tired but I don't know if I should go to sleep. Freiza or someone might get me. I couldn't stand that. I'd be more scared, maybe, than now. Because then I would _know_ something was wrong.

Actually - I think that I am more afraid now. If Freiza caught me, I know that dad would know soon enough because Freiza would want me for some type of ransom. That's how his mind works I think…

Maybe I'm wrong. I really want to go to sleep but what if something happens while I am.

My fire's going out and its getting colder…bye.

Gohan


	3. High School

Journal Entries

Beaner-Bop

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Disclaimer: Don't own, Don't sue.

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HIGH SCHOOL

Where do they get off telling me what to do? Honestly? Where do they? Last time I checked it was MY life, not theirs! But apparently that doesn't matter. I get to be dragged into yet another life or death situation.

I don't care if its not Cell, I don't care if it Frieza, I don't freaking care, but _High School?_ I'm already one of the smartest people alive, I gave Bulma a hard time on a fake quiz I made up because I was bored!

She might have been faking some of the answers but I don't think so. Bulma knows shes smart and sadly, for the rest of us, isn't afraid to tell people that.

So, you ask, why do I need to go to the hell hole aka school? Because everybody seems to think that I need interaction with people my own age.

Screw people my age, I'm twenty two and holding.

Goten's coming into my room and he's jumping on the bed, just a sec…

Gah, that was a nightmare, here's the conversation that I had with him…

Me: Get out of here Goten! You have your own room…

The Evil Spawn hereby known as Goten: Yea, but your bed is _so_ much more fun to jump on.

Me: I'm certain that will come in handy later in my life. _Please_ get out Goten. I'm trying to write…

Goten: Is that your journal?  
Me: uh…yes…

Goten: KEWL! Trunks said that if I find out you have a journal, I should find it when you go to school and read it!

Me: …um…you can't read…

Goten: I know! I told Trunks that and he said that in that case I should just bring the book to him…so um…can I have it?  
Me: *blinks*

Goten: Um…Gohan?

Me: You're really new to this whole steal my siblings journal thing aren't you?

Goten: Yup!

Me: Rookies are good.

Goten: Huh?

Me: Um…Cookies are good?

Goten: MOM'S MAKING COOKIES AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ME?!

He then proceeded to jump of my bed, onto my nightstand making the lamp, paper, alarm clock, books and probably a small family of mice (I haven't cleaned it in a while) from their perch and onto my much dirtier floor.

Maybe High school would be good for me, if this is all the excitement my life holds for the moment. I mean, come on, Goten jumping on my bed and then leaving a trail of destruction in his wake once he leaves? Considering this happens about everyday… *Sigh* mom's calling me down. Probably to yell at me for 'telling' Goten she was making cookies.

You know, I should stop dwelling on this high school issue all together. If Goten doesn't stop being a tattle, I'll be dead by the first day of school.

I love my luck.

-Gohan


	4. Pan's Birthday

Journal Entries

Beaner-Bop

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A/N: To Capra124- Gohan did go to school around 17, 18, but I had him say 22 as a joke. He didn't want to be a teenager basically and that was the first age that came to him… so…

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Screw people my age, I'm 22 and holding!

A wonderful joke that I took from Garfield ^.^

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Disclaimer: Don't Own…

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Pan's Birthday

Why me? I'm innocent! I didn't do anything wrong! So _how_ exactly did I get roped into doing Pan's birthday party?

I'm going to kill you Dende.

And I'm going to beg Videl for mercy that she _never_ let's me near them again.

Have you seen the little demons that Pan befriended? They're scarier than anything I've ever seen (except Videl angry, which is why I caved to do this in the first place…). All 'I want my dolly! Gimmee gimmee!' or 'I want your presents! You don' need 'em!', gah! One kid's after my heart though, first thing out of her mouth was 'When's cake?'. When I saw who it was I wanted to _die_.

It was none other than Bra Briefs and wherever Bra is, daddy sure isn't to far behind. Either that or a beat up Trunks if 'daddy' is to busy training.

It was Vegeta who walked through the door right behind her, glaring at all the decorations. We were at some Pizza place that had a sort of 'fun gym' inside of it. Gah, gym… that brings back scary memories.

Anyway, when I saw that Vegeta had come to the party I knew that I was going to die… along with some kids. I'd call them innocent but none of them really are.

Do you know that all the parents have to come to this party too? Every single PARENT. They're worse than the kids! The kids are _angels_ compared to their parents! And trust me - this MEANS something.

All that came out of their mouths was 'Oh, I got this huge raise from my boss because I moved 4454353653 trillion boxes in under an hour!' and 'Well I got a raise for helping 2343 gazillion people in under HALF an hour, thank you very much!'. The good news though is that I shut them up by saying, 'Well, I'm a scholar, but most of the money I make, along with the guy in spandex (yes, he really wore the damn things), is from entering tournaments where we beat up people, for fun.' Okay, so technically I don't get a big thrill out of fighting, news flash, I hate any kind but _damn_ was that little white lie funny when you saw their faces change purple. (I made sure I took my glasses off when I was saying that, I know for a fact it wouldn't have been as effective if I was wearing them.)

Anyway, once everyone was there we started doing games. Now, these little kids are all around Panny's age, which is seven, so they already knew a good handful of games and all the parents had to do was lean back and supervise. Or in Vegeta's case, glare at all the parents if they tried to do something to help their kids win. NO! I did NOT help him with this! I didn't, I didn't, I didn't!

Okay, so maybe I might've glared a little, and maybe growled…kinda…but they were trying to cheat for their kids! It's not faaaaaaaaaaaaaaair.

I'll stop being immature now.

Uh…where was I? Oh yeah…games.

The first game we played was 'musical chairs'. At first I thought this would all be sorta neat, ya know? But _damn_ they were ferocious! Pulling hair, biting, tugging teeth - the adults, not the kids. They were playing musical chairs like they were supposed to and one girl got butted out. She sniffled lightly but didn't make a show. She knew that she got out of there fairly… but her mother didn't.

She started going on about how that other kid should be out, not HER baby! And than the mother to _that_ kid came over and the two started bickering. The second lady accidentally pointed to another girl which brought that girl's FATHER over and the fight continued…and got larger and larger and larger.

I think the kids were starting to see a problem because they all stopped moving around the chairs when I had the music going (they might've been tired. Is ten minutes a long time to keep the music running for girl's at this age?) They just stared and stared, not to mention _listened_. The words these parent's were pouring out, at a seven year old girl's BIRTHDAY party!

Okay, so by this time I was getting pissed, but it was understandable, right? RIGHT? These parent's were cursing their heads off at a SEVEN YEAR OLD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! I already said that? Woops…

Anyway, I stood up and was beginning to speak but Vegeta beat me to the punch.

"WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE HFIL UP?! I'VE GOT A DAUGHTER HERE AND I WANT HER VOCABULARY TO BE AS CLEAN AS IT WAS WHEN WE CAME INTO THIS D-" He looked down at Bra, "ARN F-reaking place…" At this point all the parents were shaking in their shoes and the kids were giggling. (demons I tell you! DEMONS!!!!)

After that outburst everything was actually a lot easier. It started to get bad again when a food fight started with the cake. None of the parents commented on it for some reason though… (And all eyes look towards me. I'll be entirely honest though. I did 'sorta' stop the food fight. Vegeta said this stupid comment that he knew I would here and no one else so then I picked up some food and threw it at him. All the kids were laughing, I kept them entertained, and Vegeta helped when he threw some food back at me. Some kid yelled 'FOOD FIGHT' but at this point it really didn't matter 'cuz everyone was getting pelted with cake. Including the adults who didn't take any cake. Can you believe Vegeta and I were the ONLY ONES who took some cake? I wonder why those people were depriving themselves? Aw well, they still got a lot of food on their business suits, heh heh heh…)

All in all, I guess that it was fun. The party I mean. Vegeta, strangely enough is the only reason I lived though. Along, of course, with the fact that I was there for my daughter and Videl's glare.

I'd write more but I'm out of time.

-Gohan

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A/N: These are not in any certain order, so the next one I write could be when it's Goten's 5th birthday or something like that. Just to warn ya, laterz.

Beaner-Bop


	5. The Wedding

Journal Entries

Beaner-Bop

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A/N: Hiyas!!

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Disclaimer: Me no own, me fan, no sue!!

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The Wedding

I'm gonna die.

I'M GONNA DIE!!!

I'm doing it, I'm getting married, I'm I'm - I'M GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!

Vegeta and my dad are smirking at me, they're getting a friggin' kick out of my panicking! Can you believe that?! Dad gave me the 'talk' earlier, you know, the whole thing with 'I'm proud of you son… blah blah blah' The one filled with the warnings you know? You want to know what we talked about? Huh? FRYING PANS!!

I'm not kidding, the one thing that my dad warned me about was FRYING PANS. Man, mom really _does_ have him whipped!

He went on and on…

"Son, I know you're going to be married in a few hours," That did not help me. I was panicking _then_ to, and that whole 'few hours' thing did not help me much… "but I feel that I need to tell you something." That didn't help me either. I thought he was going to tell me something happens to someone immidiately after they're married and they do NOT like the change… "I'm sure you're mother is telling Videl this right now but… beware of frying pans. I know you're mother is telling Videl how to use one right now and trust me - they are a WHOLE lot meaner if you're the husband and not the son!" I looked at him in shock and then turned around and went straight to the bathroom to throw up.

Way to much was on my shoulders. Not only was I already worrying about the wedding, but dad had to go and make me worry about my life.

Thank you SO much dad!

Gah…. It's time. I'm gonna die I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die - something kill me!

-Gohan

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A/N: Not my best but I did it out of boredom and no writing inspiration…

Beaner-Bop


	6. Birthday

Journal Entries

Beaner-Bop

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Disclaimer: No.

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Birthday

When I was younger, birthdays were the best days that I ever had. Food, presents, family and friends, and all of them were there because of me. It makes you feel all special and loved.

I've been selfish lately. The only people who remember that today is my birthday is my mom, my brother, and Piccolo. I'm not on this list as you noticed, because I once again forgot that it was my birthday. The way I found out wasn't the nicest of ways either…Goten showed me it was.

He was intending it to be a surprise like I do for him whenever his birthday is coming along. I'll start saying little hints in high-pitched voices, stuff like, 'Gee…Nothing seems to be going on. I wonder what's on the calendar a week from now…' or other things like that. I guessed Goten just wanted to surprise me somehow so he went to the calendar and found out when my birthday was.

He was standing under the calendar when I came in with a chesire cat-like grin that told me he had something planned. I did a quick ki check just to make sure that Trunks wasn't around and the two were planning an ambush on me. When I was certain he was at Capsule Corp. with his father in the gravity room I turned to look at Goten with a weak grin, knowing that a few days from now was the anniversary of dad's death. Goten nodded and pointed at the calendar.

"Guess what day is coming…" He said in a happy voice. I flinched, wondering what he was so happy about. The only thing happening in a few days was the anniversary of dad's death. I shrugged my shoulders and sat down at the table, waiting for food and starting my 'silent treatment' as my mom said. When I get like this, she says, she gets more words from Piccolo in an hour than she does from me in a week. "Come on Gohan! Guess what day is coming! Please!" He looked at me with his puppy eyes. I sighed and gave in, trying to find a day that Gohan would be excited about for some reason.

"Um… Satan day?" Goten got a look of disgust on his face.

"Ugh, no, try again!"

"Hmmm… well… is Trunks coming over soon? Or Marron?" Goten rolled his eyes.

"No, geez Gohan, you're really bad at guessing!" I mock growled and played with his hair.

"Sorry squirt, okay, I give up."

"Nope, gotta ask for clues first!" I rolled my eyes again.

"Alright…Does it have to do with people we know." He nodded yes. "Alright…no one's birthday's coming up…" He looked at me strangely, probably trying to see if I was joking or not. He must have ignored it or something because instead of taking it as a joke (which it wasn't) he looked at me confused.

"What do you mean?"

"About what?"

"About no birthdays happening…"

"Well, nobody's is around Ma-" I started to blink as this little realization dawned on me. "My birthday is happening in three days." I whispered. Goten nodded and was grinning but I can guess the look went to confusion when I jumped up quickly and ran into my room. This is where we're at now.

I'm sure you can gather the irony by now. In three days, in the month of May, my birthday is happening.

In three days time, I'm going to lock myself up in my room and hate myself for killing my father this date six years ago.

Lovely.

I better go, Goten wants to know why I took off like that.

Bye.

-Gohan


	7. Scary Women

Journal Entries

Beaner-Bop

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A/N: 'lo all. This journal entry supposedly comes soon after 'High School'…not that it would make a difference if you read it or not… -.-;;

Disclaimer: I don't own - no sue!

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Scary Women

My life is going into hell quickly, very quickly.

In my life, I was taught to fear women by women, and my dad. He was always giving me warnings about when mom was going through Pain for Men Syndrome or the like. Vegeta and Bulma's relationship is much the same way if you ask me, just more hidden. For example, while Vegeta raises his voice to Bulma, he won't do anything that will make her turn off the Gravity Room or not let them have sex for a certain amount of time. Weird no?

I really hope that nobody finds this journal…they'll all think that I'm on crack or something…

I need help.

Anyway, the one main topic of this is women and how they are scary. My current list is quite good if I do so say so myself. I'll write a summarized version in here so you get an idea of what my original list looks like. (NOTE: The glare factor is out of a five star scale, with one being 'not to strong' and five being 'DUCK!')

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Chi-chi - She's the first women I ever met and the first one to ever strike fear into me. She has no qualms with taking food away from a hungry Saiya-jin if for some reason she's pissed off at them. 

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GLARE FACTOR: **********

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Bulma - 2nd woman I met in my life, and of course, the second one to strike fear into my heart. She seems to miss the words 'common sense', giving in, rather, to 'Bulma sense'. When this happens, you know you're in trouble.

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GLARE FACTOR: **********

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Launch - I don't see her to often but I know her well enough that she's scary (both ways). Her first side is sickeningly sweet, making your stomach crawl, and when she sneezes, she could scare the crap out of a saiya-jin, no problem. She has two different glare factors, since one part of her CAN glare and the other can't.

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GLARE FACTOR (brunette): …(none)

GALRE FACTOR (blond): *******

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18 - She's the strongest female on earth at the moment, of course she's scary that way, and to top it off she's a trained assassin. Of _course_ she isn't that scary. How the hell could an ASSASSIN be scary??

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GLARE FACTOR: **********

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Bulma's Mom - Does she have a name? I've never heard it…I think… Is it Bunny or something? Oh well, that doesn't matter. She's scary in her own right, so sugary sweet, and nice… I always wonder if she has poison in my food or something, she's so nice. Vegeta doesn't care either way though. Says that he'd rather eat and die of the cooking Bulma's Mom makes than Bulma's. If Bulma is around, this statement is promptly took to heart and she proves it by swatting Vegeta's head - but we're getting a little off topic, aren't we?

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GLARE FACTOR: …(none)

And who's the newest member on my list, you ask? Who now joins the elite group of scary women in Son Gohan's journal? It…is none other…than… _Drum roll please, someone!_

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VIDEL SATAN - One of the scariest people I've ever met, she glares at me 24/7 for no reason, has no problems with trying to beat me up, gives me a hard time wherever I go, and I just found out that she can cook pretty well! Which means I won't be able to taste any of it 'cuz I supposedly hate her guts and vice versa… Can't you see me pouting? That, and she looks really good in that swimsuit, oooo, bad Gohan, get your mind out of the gutter!

I better get going now before my mind starts to look to much like Roshi's. Later.

-Gohan


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